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Thursday, 11 November 2010

  • looooong time

    It has been forever, where did the summer go? Where is happiness?

    They were just here a minute ago...

    This is harder than I remember it being.
    and you're being more of a brash asshole than ever.
    Unfortunately each day I grow closer or further away, leaving me digging a grave.

     


    We'll talk later.

Saturday, 14 August 2010

Sunday, 18 July 2010

Thursday, 01 July 2010

  • turn my bones to sand.

    I write here as if no one reads it.

    That was the biggest buzzkill of my entire life.

    I am done with coping skills. 

    Therefore, I will be precise:

    The glue didn't hold me together. 

    I'm happy, very happy. 

    and oh so very disturbed. 

    Its like that strange ratio

     

    *system failure*

     

    bedtime.

    scene 1, take 2,4,6,8,10

Saturday, 26 June 2010

  • Oh yeah? That's funny cuz...

    Im not writing about suicide or typical teenage heartbreak, or maybe now I am because I stated that I'm not. We'll never really know. Maybe this is just my midlife crisis and Ill die at approximately the age of 34.
    maybe.
    what if?
    Do you think...?
    I could say Im being over dramatic, but It's hard to watch the show from this part of the theater.

    Everything is a question. Questions I ask myself everyday that I cant even bring myself to write here.
    I don't doubt my love.
    I don't doubt yours, however, I doubt your ability to recognize many things about the puzzle in front of you.

    cut to right now --
    Id like to start banging my head against this desk, hoping the rusted parts would fall out to make room for new ones. I am unmistakably messed up.

    cut back to my hopes and dreams --
    I hope we end up together and this madness ends.
    I dream at night when Im wide awake and all alone.
    I hope you're next to me, but I wake up and that fantasy is just some ashes.
    I'd like to think that you recognize my pain.
    Pain is it? or is it just an ache?
    My pain tolerance is remarkable, but certainly not for this.

    cut back to, is it pain?!
    No, maybe not, like I said it's just hard to watch the show.

    After I throw out all this mental junk I just sprawled across my digital floor, then I MIGHT be able to set myself straight on a path that is seemingly beautiful.
    Im in love.
     



Friday, 18 June 2010

  • Oh how it would kill

    For you to go. 
    For me to be forgotten.
    For our lives to sperate. 
    I've begun to wonder if my decisions are they only ones
    well thought out? 
    No one else can see inside this.
    No one else can look through this mirror.
    No one else in our universe can determine the love
    happiness
    or distance between you & me.

     

Monday, 31 May 2010

  • You've gotta spend some time love, you've gotta spend some time with me.

    Recently I feel a care being set free.
    Your laugh proclaiming the joy of being with me.
    I'm the actress, you're the actor.
    We support each others roles.
    Strangely we still love more than ever.
    Or so we've been told..

    & I'd hate to see you go.
    But as long as I know that the distance will subside,
    or grow accustomed to our lives...
    Well, I can live with that.
    I can live with you; anger and sadness.
    I can live with you; happy times and cunning madness.

    Betting on the future is like creating the past.
    As much as the both of us are eager to see.
    We are not trapped, just come with me.

Monday, 17 May 2010

  • Ill be anything, the blanket on top of you.

    Lately you're my "one desire."
    I guess I'll have to settle for what you give me now.
    When the situation appears repaired..
    you're lead to find out it has beautiful flaws. 
    As unsightly as they may seem...
    you're all I could ask for and more.

    Now be sure to remember this,
    as it could be the last words I say to you.
    You are my strength, my weakness
    my love and sadness
    combined into one truth.

    There's no trust of mine to have been lost,
    just the time of day that brings it up.
    Attempts and failure, are they the very best I've got?
    Say what you will, I have a feeling we are inevitable.

    Now I know what it's like to deal with myself.

    I repeat myself daily and it seems to not be enough. 

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    you won't ever know that i'm in love with you.

    im terrified. 

     

Sunday, 02 May 2010

  • wtf is wrongg with me?

    I can hardly bring myself to write.
    I've laid out in front of me the options to this--
    puzzle piece life.
    the pieces don't match and the water is black.
    Ive called you twice.
    You never call back.
    Where there's love, there is no satisfaction.
    Where love lacks, there is desire.
    I don't speak of an intimate love.
    What existing creates is fire.

Monday, 19 April 2010

Saturday, 17 April 2010

  • Ill wash you out of my hair.

    Here I lie, same freaking position as always.
    Same day, same shit, same life.
    I do appreciate the simple things, honest.
    I just can't seem to gather enough fine things in this
    to put the beast to rest.
    Wait, there's another test...
    oh look at that, I failed.
    Dirty game, disgusting tricks the mindless faults.
    Such things can simply not be kept up with.
    Now is time for me to retire, over there, across the memories.
    Where they fade to dust.
    Perception is a bitch because, they're still there.
    Not that I care that they are still there.
    Meaning, I do and they will stay.
    Forever.

    Forever, what a frivolous word.

Sunday, 04 April 2010

Saturday, 06 March 2010

  • Persistence of memory

    Distance is just the ink bleeding through the paper
    Fear is just the night mares you had when you were young.
    Dreams are just the future. Each plan, a simple song.
    Regret is just your conscience slamming the back door.
    While tears are just liquid, I've never loved you more.
    Words are not just words, they create the things I hope for.

    Each wish is my fantasy
    While each fantasy brings pain.
    When one turns out just right,
    I seem delighted once again.

    Time is my train,
    I jump from car to car.
    You're embedded in my brain,
    The question is, how far?

    Each letter ends the same.
    Same things day after day.
    We move along, at our own pace.
    We walk on water, swim in the sand.

    Is this my self-trick, do I love you again?




Thursday, 11 February 2010

  • When it rains...

    I love you.
    I hate you.
    You've built me up.
    You've torn me down.
    I laughed.
    I cried.
    You held me tight.
    But not tonight
    not tomorrow
    not again?
    There is no end to the ugly things in this life.
    Including this deplorable heartache.
    You want the fight?
    I don't have it, it has evaporated.
    Something to simple for you is
    far beyond complicated for me.
    I'm not stupid.
    I'm just not what you see.
    For me, this is tragedy.
    For you, the idea to lose...
    impossible.

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runfreerun

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    • Name: Claire
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    • Member Since: 7/4/2008

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  • About me? hi. I'm claire, I do photography. I'm shy.

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